Friday, June 7, 2013
To a 17 year old girl out there that I love so much!!!
You don't need a boyfriend. Really you don't.
I know it seems like you have almost always had one (at least since you were 14) but you still don't need one.
I know you miss being affectionate with a boyfriend but you still don't need one.
I know you feel like less of a person with out a boyfriend. I am so sorry our world, RomCom movies, LDS dating culture, Disney, your immature friends, you mature friends and your own head tells you that you are worth less because you don't have a boyfriend.
You are 17! You have so much ahead of you. Please focus on the adventures and experiences you will have!!!
- Your first year of real, away from home college.
- Dealing with/befriending your first roommate.
- Making friends outside of high school.
- Trips to exotic or not so exotic places
- Exploring your relationship with God, with Jesus Christ and with Church. You will now be able to choose to go to Church, to go to Institute and to study/pray. The choice makes those experiences all that much sweeter.
- Choosing a major, changing the major, choosing a career... maybe changing that too. Volunteering, internships, and college jobs.
- your first car!
- being young and stupid (skinny dipping with girlfriends stupid, not drinking and driving stupid)
- You are going to be able to serve/love others in ways that you still don't know. Whether as a singles ward RS president dealing with sisters who have severe mental issues, going on a mission or just being a good friend willing to be a designated driver.
- You will find love, that I promise. Sometimes the love will not be reciprocated. Sometimes the timing will be off. Sometimes you will realize that while love is there, the relationship is not healthy or that you are not a good fit together. Sometimes the person that you love will not treat you right. Sometimes the love the find will just be a stepping stone. Just remember, you are 17, you have time.
- I cannot promise you that you will gain everything in your dreams. You may be much older when you get married, you may never get married in this earth, you may not be able to become a mother the conventional way. I do know that Heavenly Father has a plan for you and that your worth is is based on who you are, who you become and not on if you have a boyfriend/spouse.
- I know it is hard. I was there (not married until 27 remember?). I didn't have boyfriend in high school and I am now so glad I made that choice. I am so glad I waited until I was emotionally mature enough to have relationships. I know that you have already had many boyfriends and have experienced the first inklings of love so the lack of it is harder for you. I pray and hope that you can see yourself as a whole, happy person even with out a significant other.
- During those times that you are incredibly lonely, I would suggest you do something. Go to the Temple, make plans with a friend (male or female). Study!!! (I mean you are going to be in college). Get some exercise, go for a hike, make a healthy meal. If you must, have a girls night and watch RomComs or Jane Austen movies. Read, pray and figure out goals for you to improve, then do them.
If you can focus on these things, pretty soon you will see that you have become the person you always wanted to be. One that people love being around and that is a wonderful example of Gods love. Then, after some time, you will be ready to date seriously and you will find that the relationships you develop will be sweeter (perhaps saner), deeper and more satisfying than the young love you have experienced so far. Again, they may not end in marriage but they will change you for good.
i love you.